fairy tail in LA plus an insane author, and a narrator who i pity,
by 89724princess-lauren
Summary: Natsu, Lucy, Erza, Jellal, Gray, Juvia, Wendy, Carla, Happy got accidently transported to Earth. Also, Narrator has to battle Author to keep her from taking over the story and killing everyone in it. Jerza, NaLu, Gruvia romance unless Author kills that vibe then I'll remove the romance genre. I have no idea where this is going or what happened. Author wasn't supposed be in this...
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic. Sorry if the tense (past, present, future, whatever) is wrong and if there's grammarical or spelling mistakes I suck at all of that. And I also apologize for the title/summary as you can see those aren't my strengths. Uh, now for the disclaimer I will have a conversation with myself.**

**Erza: It isn't really with yourself because we are here too**

**Happy: You're so mean! What about me?**

**Me: Well, since it's actually just me writing this you're stuck in the anime/manga so technically I am talking to myself**

**Me2: I hate technical stuffs. It gets my brain in a twist.**

**Me: Shut up Me2!**

**Me2: NO and you can't make me**

**Narrator: … author, I seriously worry about you**

**Me and Me2: SHUT UP NO ONE CARES!**

**Narrator: …. Oh kay then**

**Me and Me2: I hate life!**

**Jellal: Hi everyone**

**Me and Me2: SHUT UP NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU JELLAL**

**Jellal: ….. bad time?**

**Lucy: Whatever happened to the disclaimer?**

**Me and Me2: NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE DISCLAIMER! **

**Natsu: …. I seriously think the author needs some help**

**Gray: ….. for once I think I agree with you**

**Me and Me2: WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH**

**Wendy: Lauren does not own fairy tail**

**Erza: well that took awhile**

**Me and Me2: I SAID NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE DISCLAIMER**

**Everyone: …**

**Oh, btw I had a friend help me with this because I stared at the blank screen for like and hour (aka two minutes) so I needed help. I can't take all the credit BUT I CAN TAKE MOST XDXDXDXDXDXD *creepy sadistic smile***

**At Fairy Tail**

Everything in Fairy Tail was going exactly as it usually does.

Cana was drinking booze by the barrel. Natsu and Gray were fighting. Erza was trying to break up the fight between Natsu and Gray. Happy was eating a fish. Wendy and Carla were watching Natsu, Gray, and Erza squabble (hehe big word.) Lucy was sitting at the bar talking with Mira.

"For once the guild isn't on the brink of destruction. It's nice. I wish everything would stay like this." 

Mira nodded and smiled. "Hopefully this will last a while. Then we can build some good romance between you and Natsu."

Lucy blushed. "NO! That's not why I wanted it to stay like this!"

"What? You do like him, right?"

"Well...I...um...uh...I...kinda...NO!"

Lies. Total, obvious lies.

Natsu, his and Gray's fight had been brought near when Lucy and Mira were having their conversation, said, "Lucy, we're partners! Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" He smiled teasingly.

Lucy sweatdropped "No, no, no, that's not it! I like you!"

Natsu left Gray and sat down next to her.

"Ooooooh!" Happy settled down besides them. "She lllllllllllikes him!"

"Shut up!"

Whack.

Happy went flying.

**In LA, our world**

"Dude, I'm soooo wasted."

"Dude, you're suuuuuuch an idiot."

Two siblings, Cash and Sasha, were at their friends apartment. Cash was getting drunk. Sasha was just there to make sure Cash didn't do anything too stupid. It was pretty much a typical night for them.

"LOOK! I CAN DO THE CHICKEN DANCE!" Cash yelled, and got up on his chair to demonstrate.

"You're an idiot. You're gonna fall."

"No! I can't believe you have so little faith in me!"

*sob sob*

"Oh yeah?" Sasha was sitting close to a bookshelf. She grabbed a random book off the shelf and chucked it at Cash. And, what do you know, he fell.

Woah. That's amazing. Narrator is shocked.

The book landed open to a random page.

Cash's friend picked up the book and looked at the page it landed on.

"Yo Cash, look at this, it looks like a magic spell." Cash's friend was slightly more sober than Cash.

"MAGIC! I'm gonna read it and then millions of dollars are going to start to rain from the sky and we'll all be RICH!"

Sasha rolled her eyes.

"Uh... Whatever bro, I guess it won't hurt to try, but I kinda doubt that's gonna happen."

"WHY DOES NO ONE HERE HAVE ANY FAITH IN ME? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS?"

*sob* *sob*

Once getting over his depression caused by his friend and sibling's lack of faith in him, Cash cleared his throat and began in a mysterious voice. " Shallakaboom mysticaloom."

And nothing happened.

You don't say?

Cash looked shocked. "Why didn't it work? Shallakaboom mysticaloom. *pause* shallakaboom mysticaloom. Hey! It's not working! SHALLAKABOOM MYSTICALOOM! Maybe it's a problem with me. Sasha you try it!"

"No!"

"Please! I really want to be rich!"

"No, it's not gonna work."

"PLEASE!"

"Fine! Shut up! I'll do it!" Sasha rolled her eyes. "Shallakaboom mysticaloom. HAPPY!?"

Still, nothing happened. Cash sighed dejectedly. "Aw, well, let's try it later tonight. It might work then."

"Highly doubt it."

Narrator agrees. A whole lot.

Stupid Cash.

**Later on that night**

"Cash, let's go home, it's late," Sasha said then yawned. She just wanted to get home.

But since Cash was stupid, and wholly believed in the spell, they had been stuck at their friends house for another three hours.

"Sasha, I think the spell will work now. Let's try it!"

"NO! It's not gonna work! I want to go home!"

Narrator can't blame her.

"Please, just let me read it one more time."

"Fine, just make it quick!"

"Yay! SHALLAKABOOM MYSTICALOOM!"

And, still nothing happened.

Big shocker there.

"See? Let's go home!"

"SHALLAKABOOM MYSTICALOOM!"

"Cash!"

"SHALLAKABOOM MYSTICALOOM!"

"CASH!"

"SHALLAKABOOM... MYSTICALOOM!"

"CASH! WE ARE GOING!"

Cash hung his head and, after saying goodbye to their friend, shuffled out the door after Sasha.

The clock read 3:00 am

**The next day, at Fairy Tail**

"Lucy! Want to go on a job?" Natsu called out.

She was sitting at the bar talking with Mira and Levy. Mira leaned over to Lucy. "Go with him, spend some time together. Make your love life progress!"

Lucy's face burned a bright scarlet. "W-W-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"

Natsu looked confused. "What do you mean? We're partners, it's pretty normal for us to go on jobs together."

"Sorry Natsu! I was talking to Mira."

"You two are going to go on a job without Gray and I?! We're a team! We do jobs together!" Erza shouted.

Natsu sweatdropped. "A-aye!"

"What, flamebrain? Were you forgetting us?"

"Shut up, pornstar!" ...

Mira giggled. "Erza, Gray, don't be offended. Natsu and Lucy just wanted some _alone time._"

_If you know what I mean. *_wink* *wink*

Erza and Gray both smirked. "Really? Then that's fine."

Natsu and Lucy blushed.

"Hey! What about me! You're so mean! I was going too!" Happy protested from the request board.

Then every member in Fairy Tail (well, at least the ones at the guild and paying attention) watched Natsu, Lucy, Erza, Gray, and Happy (One cannot forget Happy. He would be extremely offended if anyone, especially Narrator, did) disappear.

**12:00 am LA, Sasha and Cash's apartment**

"WHOA?! What happened to Fairy Tail?" Natsu yelled. He was standing in Sasha and Cash's apartment. Next to him were Lucy, Erza, Gray, and Happy (never forget Happy)

Narrator guesses they went POOF and traveled through time and space and to infinity and beyond and wound up on Earth. Yay!

"Cash, could you tell your friends to keep it down!" Sasha called from the another room. Then she realized, Cash left to go to the store to buy something this morning and wasn't at the house.

"Cash?" She called out, and walked into the living room.

And saw no Cash, only Natsu, Lucy, Erza, Gray, and Happy.

"Who the hell are you? Trespassing is illegal, you know."

Lucy grinned. "HA! I KNEW IT! Hear that Natsu?"

"Lucy," Erza said cautiously, "I don't think you're grasping the situation at hand. We're not in Magnolia anymore. Or even Fiore."

Narrator agrees with Erza. They weren't in Fiore anymore. THEY WERE IN NEVERLAND! Narrator is kidding. Narrator wishes she was in Neverland.

Because, you know. Neverland is just that awesome.

Narrator apologizes for getting off topic.

"What's Fiore?" Sasha was incredibly confused.

Actually she just thought the people who were standing, uninvited, in her living room were the incredibly confused ones. In her mind, Fiore was about as exsistant as Unicorn Land.

Narrator apologizes. She realizes that is a bad example. She is supposed to be showing that Sasha thinks Fiore does not exsist, but Unicorn Land is a real place. It's where Narrator is from.

Narrator wants to get back to the story.

"WELL TOO BAD!" yells a Someone from a far, far place called Asdfghjkl;. That fiend wants to distract Narrator from continuing on the story about the friends (and in the case of two people whose names start with N and L, more than friends) from Fairy Tail! But, NARRATOR WILL NOT ALLOW IT! NARRATOR KICKS THE SOMEONE AND THEY FALL ON A LEGO! WHILE THE SOMEONE IS JUMPING AROUND IN PAIN FROM STEPPING ON THE LEGO, IT FALLS OFF A CLIFF INTO A HOLE FILLED WITH POISONOUS SPIKES AND DIES, ALONE, SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY!

Narrator then gets back to the story.

"You don't know what Fiore is? Wow, where _are _we?" Natsu said, flabbergasted (Narrator loves that word and just had to use it at least once. Narrator thinks that word sounds funny.)

"Do you think we're on another world, like Elodas?" Lucy suggested.

Natsu ignited his hand. "We can use magic here."

Sasha stared at Natsu's hand and screamed. "WHY IS YOUR HAND ON FIRE?"

"Whose hand is on fire?" Cash asked, as he walked in the door. He hadn't spotted his "guests" yet

Sasha looked relieved to hear a familiar voice. "Cash, why is one of your friends lighting his hand on fire?"

Natsu light his head on fire. "I can light my head on fire too. And my whole body." Natsu engulfed himself in flames to demonstrate.

Sasha screamed again. "CASH! GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER, NOW!" She yelled.

"Uh, okay, but, _why?_" Cash called from the kitchen. He came out with the fire extinguisher in hand.

When he saw Natsu, he also screamed and went crazy spraying out the white whatever-is-in-fire-extinguishers all over Natsu.

But Natsu's flames weren't normal ones and so the fire extinguisher did nothing.

"Hey! Why are you spraying white stuff all over me? Look, if you're mad I'm in your living room, I'm sorry. I'm just as confused as you. Now can you please stop that, you're going to ruin my scarf!"

...

He sounds like a girly girl when someone is messing up part of their outfit.

NARRATOR APOLOGIZES NATSU PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME.

Now. Back to the story.

"WHY AREN'T YOUR FLAMES GOING OUT?" Sasha is panicking.

"I'm a Fire Dragon Slayer, you can't put my flames out. Only I can. See?" Natsu demonstrates by putting out his flames.

This calms Sasha and Cash down a bit.

"Hey, dude, why do you care so much about your scarf. It's just a scarf," Cash asked once he had at least semi-recovered from his mini heart attack.

Natsu frowned. He was already pissed from getting white stuff all over him, and this guy was pissing him off more.

He was about to go up in flames again, when Lucy put her hand on his arm to calm him.

"The scarf was a gift from Igneel, the fire dragon who taught him. Since Igneel is now gone it's very special to him," she explained.

"Oh, sorry"

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! Dragons? Cash how can you just be like 'oh' and except that?! I'M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW!"

"Perhaps we should start all over again. I'm Erza. The pink haired guy with the scarf is Natsu. Lucy is the blonde. And the black haired guy _who needs to put some clothes on" _she gave Gray a pointed look. Gray looked down in surprise "is Gray. We are from Fairy Tail, a wizard guild in Magnolia."

"Erza! You forgot about me!" Happy complained.

Sasha screamed. "THAT. CAT. TALKED. IT. TALKED."

"And it's blue!" Cash added.

"NOT HELPING!"

"Just thought I'd point it out," he mumbled.

"And that's Happy. Technically he's not a cat, he's an Exceed," Erza explained.

"And you're all wizards." Sasha massaged her temples. "And that cat, Exceed, whatever can talk."

"And fly!" Happy added.

"YOU CAN FLY?!"

"Man, I wish I could fly." Cash looked jealously down at Happy.

"That's not the point!" Sasha whacked Cash. "How the heck did you guys get here?!"

Gray shrugged "Dunno."

"One moment I was about to go on a job with Natsu, next I was here," Lucy said.

"Ooh!" Cash raised his hand and was waving it around like he was trying to get the teacher's attention.

Narrator is worried about Cash's mental health. There was no teacher in the room.

"Yes, Cash," Sasha said. She was about out of patience.

"I BET IT WAS THAT SPELL WE READ LAST NIGHT!"

Sasha sighed. She was mentally slapping Cash for his stupidity. "Cash, that 'spell' isn't real. It was just some nonsense words you found."

Erza perked up when she heard spell. "You read a spell?"

"No, it was just some made up words Cash found in an old book."

Natsu didn't look convinced. "Once I read some nonsense words and then everyone around me switched personalities and bodies."

The Fairies groaned.

"I couldn't fly!" Happy whined.

Erza didn't seem happy to recall that memory. "I had urges to eat raw fish!"

Lucy didn't seem happy either. "Gray kept on trying to take off my shirt!"

"I had boobs!" Gray, who had somehow again lost his shirt, shuddered.

"I LOOKED LIKE LOKE!" Natsu seemed the most distressed.

"Who's Loke?" Sasha had no idea what they were talking about, although she was a little disturbed by Lucy and Gray's comments.

Erza looked a little pissed at Natsu for bringing those memories back up. "Doesn't matter. We introduced ourselves and where we are from, now it's your turn." She looked over at Sasha. Apparently she had seen enough to know who was the more responsible of the two.

Cash, however, either ignored the fact that Erza was talking to Sasha, not him, or didn't notice, and started to explain. "We live in a pineapple under the sea. Our town is called bikini bottom. I'm Spongebob Squarepants and she is Patrick Star. I work at the Krusty Krab and she doesn't work."

Narrator agrees with Erza.

Natsu looked impressed. "Woah! We're under the sea!?"

"That must be a pretty big pineapple," Gray seemed just as shocked as Natsu.

Erza just frowned

Sasha whacked Cash. "No dimwits, Cash is obviously kidding. We live in LA, California, on Earth. I'm Sasha and that is Cash."

"We live on Earth too! Natsu, do you think that this is just another country outside of Fiore that we don't know of?"

Natsu scratched his head. "Dunno, Happy. It could be. Like, maybe one even farther away then the one Jellal almost blew up with Etherion."

"Dude, I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm pretty sure we don't live _anywhere _close to you. Where we live, there's no such thing as wizards with the exception of Gandalf." Cash appeared somewhat calm. He was taking this quite well, at least, compared to Sasha, who was curled up on the couch with her fingers at her temples taking deep breaths.

"Cash, Gandalf does not exist," Sasha said from her position on the couch.

"I am going to kindly pretend you didn't say that."

Lucy looked confused. "Who's Gandalf? Is he powerful?"

"Please ignore him. I am afraid he is terribly confused and if he doesn't get his life in order soon will end up on the street as a hobo." Sasha _really _wanted to just wake up and realize that this was all a dream. She tried pinching her thigh, and closing her eyes and trying to open them and wake up in her bed. Unfortunately for her, that never was going to happen.

Although she would also settle with the strange people in her house not being real wizards, just street magicians. _They must be really good _she thought _to make that cat talk and make it look realistic._

Sadly, that wasn't going to happen either.

In fact, her life was about to get a bunch more complicated

**3:00 pm, Sasha and Cash's apartment.**

Sasha had gone to her room to take a nap, and hoped that when she woke up everything would be back to normal. Cash, and the Fairies were in the living room chatting it up.

It turned out Cash and Natsu got along really well. Erza didn't particularly care for him though, she liked Sasha better.

Suddenly, four flashes of light appeared in the living room. When the light faded down, Jellal, Juvia, Wendy, and Carla were there in their place.

Erza, Natsu, Lucy, Gray, and Happy stared at them in shock.

"Ooooooooh," Cash said, "Sasha's gonna be mad."


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, this story is really not turning out the way I wanted it to. The majority of this chapter is Author and Narrator arguing. It was supposed to be at least a little normal, but then I added Author and Ericka liked author so she wrote quite a bit about her, and then i got bored and had Author take over the story... maybe I should just change the plot to a war between the normal character and Narrator against insane Author who wants to kill everybody. Hmm... I wonder if I can change the name and summary now. If not, sorry if the summary and title have nothing to do with the story. I tried.**

**Do I still need to do a disclaimer... Nah, I'm good.**

**I think...**

**Well, whatever, everyone knows I don't own Fairy Tail because I'm starting to wonder if I'm capable of writing something that makes sense. If I owned Fairy Tail, the dragons would have come back in like episode 2 but they would have looked like cupcakes. **

**Because, cupcakes are cool like that.**

**Chapter 2**

Jellal looked around confused. "Wha- Where am I?"

Erza had her hand over her mouth, eyes wide.

"GRAY-SAMA!" Juvia, who seemed oblivious to her new location, tackled Gray in a huge bear hug, nearly knocking him over.

Once Gray and regained his balance he said, "Uh, yeah, great to see you too Juvia.

"Gray-sama, Juvia missed you so much!"

"It's only been a few hours. You're so suffocating," Gray grumbled, which Juvia ignored and continued on rapid fire.

"You were at Fairy Tail then suddenly you disappeared without even telling anyone where you were going, Juvia was SO WORRIED! Juvia thought you didn't like her anymore!"

"_That's_ what you were worried about?"

"BUT THEN I FOUND YOU (by the wanted)!"

"Yeah...I see...so can you please let go of me now?" Gray turned to Erza and mouthed _help me! I think I'm dying!_

Unfortunately for Gray, Erza wasn't paying attention to him. She was busy staring, openmouthed at Jellal.

After finally overcoming the shock of seeing him, she yelled his name and jumped into his arms, leaving Gray to face his own problems (namely Juvia-chan) by himself.

Narrator is VERY glad she is not Gray. Juvia is a little too attached to him for Narrators preferences. Also, Narrator would prefer not to be stalked.

"Well, doesn't that suck for Narrator," Author said.

Narrator: ?

Author: You already are stalked. BY ME! *evil maniacical cackling*

Narrator really thinks author should leave her comments out of the story and stick to just the authors notes.

Narrator is also kind of disturbed by Author's comment.

Author begins to glide gleefully away into the sunset riding on a magical bacon.

Narrator: *sigh of relief*

Back to the story.

NO! IT MUST BE AUTHOR! AUTHOR WANTS ATTENTION! WAAAH!

Narrator: =_= thought u were gone

Author: XD NEVAAAAAA

Narrator places a well aimed kick at Author's head. Author passes out. Narrator continues with the story.

"Whoa, wait a sec," Cash stood up from his place on the couch, "You all know," he motioned at the mages who just appeared, "you all," he motioned at the mages who came three hours ago.

Author: *wakes up screaming* ITS NIGHT AND A CAT JUST CLIMBED ON MY BED AND SCARED THE LIVING **** OUTTA ME! AHHH! I THOUGHT IT WAS CHUCKE OR SOMETHING! *begins to hyperventilate*

Narrator pats Author's head while shaking her own. Narrator thinks Author is very confused. It is not night, there is no cat, Author is not on a bed.

Author hears a voice in her head telling her to jump out of the window (she was in an office building on the fifth floor, BTW) and listens to it. While looking out the window, she notices a flying unicorn. She jumps out the window onto the flying unicorn and sails away. She then hears a voice in her head telling her to start Tangoing on the unicorn. She again listens and then all of a sudden classical music starts playing. So she starts to foxtrot on top of the unicorn while eating a donut.

Cause you know, donuts are cool.

Then she falls and dies.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- wait just kidding!

But now Author's in the hospital in a full-

NO WAIT. SHE'S NOT. SHE TANGOING ON THE VERY TIPPY TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.

BUT THE BUILDING IS BRIGHT GREEN AND HAS GRAFFITI ALL OVER IT. AND THERE'S A PICTURE OF A DONUT ON IT!

Cause you know, donuts are co-

Narrator: SHUT UP.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Author cries, "NARRATOR IS A PARTY POOPER!"

Ahem, Narrator coughs. BACK TO THE STORY.

Wendy nods, "yes, we are all from Fairy Tail. But, wait... who are you?"

Cash opened his mouth to answer, but just then a half-asleep Sasha stumbled out of her room.

"Seriously! Can you guys keep it down..." Her voice faded off as she noticed her new inhabitants to her living room.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! MORE OF YOU?! MY HOUSE ISN'T BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD ALL OF YOU! WHERE DO YOU ALL KEEP ON COMING FROM?!"

"Told you she was gonna be mad," Cash muttered.

Carla put her hands on her hips and walked up to Sasha. "Excuse me, but we don't know why we are here. It's not our fault. If you don't want us in your home, then there are much more polite ways to tell us. We did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment."

Sasha dropped her head into her hands. "I'm sorry." She sounded genuinely apologetic. "But, IF YOU STAY HERE I THINK MY APARTMENT IS GOING TO EXPLODE!"

Natsu perked up at the thought of something going BOOM. Usually when things explode there's fire. Natsu likes fire.

:D fire.

Narrator is worried that if Natsu stays in this world too long he will turn into a pyromaniac. Narrator sincerely wishes that the Fairies will quickly find a way to get back home.

AUTHOR LIKES FIRE! *creepy sadistic smile*

Narrator: oh no please, not again.

Author sets Narrator on fire and proceeds telling the story, only this time Author Style ©.

Cash frowned and scratched his head, and had an expression on his face that made him look extremely retarded (in Author's opinion. Remember readers, this story is now being told Author Style ©) "I dunno Sasha. I kind of doubt that it's possible to make a building explode by putting too many people in it."

Author doesn't know about that. Author is pretty sure it could happen. *rubs hands together* *another creepy sadistic smile (hereby known as CSS)*

Everyone:*cringes away from Author* NARRATOR PLEASE COME BACK AND SAVE US!

"If we leave, where would we go?" Lucy asked, running a hand down her smooth blonde hair because she is exceedingly vain and is proudful of her smooth, silky hair, and is silently bragging to everyone in the room, claiming she has better hair.

Narrator (while burning): or it's just a nervous habit.

Author: SHUT UP! I'M RUNNING THE SHOW NOW!

All vain, proudful (shut up, proudful is so a word) people _MUST DIE!_

Lucy: Natsu, I'm scared.

Erza looked annoyed. "This story is supposed to be about us, not Narrator and Author. Natsu, eat the Flames that are now consuming Narrator so next chapter can go back to us."

Natsu: *eats flames that are burning Narrator*

Narrator kicks Author into the sky.


	3. Chapter 3

**K so sorry if this chapter is sorta short I wasn't feeling writical this week (weeks?) but I made myself write anyway to I can post for like the two or three people who have followed this. Cuz I love u THAT much. Feel special.**  
**But when I do write, I have so much fun. Author is my favorite character. XD**

**chapter 3**  
Cash pouted. "Ahh, come on Sasha, let them stay! PLEASSSSSSSE!" Cash did puppy dog eyes on Sasha. In Sasha's opinion, Cash's puppy dog eyes were adorable. The adorableness was so much that they must now have the little c at the end. Puppy Dog Eyes ©.  
Cuz c's are cool like that.  
Author somehow manages to reappear in from of them. BECAUSE AUTHOR IS AUTHOR AND CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN!  
Geez people.  
Author disagrees with Sasha. Author believes that Puppy Dog Eyes © are very non-adorable. ONLY AUTHOR'S PUPPY DOG EYES ARE CUTE.  
Author demonstrates her amazing, superb, adorablenessified (again, so a word) puppy dog eyes.  
And everyone cringes away.  
Author's puppy dog eyes are very un-amazing, un-superb, un-adorablenessified.  
"That's an understatement," Natsu mutters.  
Wendy is crying in a corner because of the terrible turn this story has taken.  
Lucy is considering joining her.  
Author is seething. Her eyes glow red. "HOW DARE YOU NOT THINK MY PUPPY DOG EYES ARE CUTE!" Author yells as steam blows out of her ears. Erza's eyes widen and she backs away slowly, as you might if you were facing an angered grizzly bear, not a pissed off Author.  
Erza would not back away slowly from an angered grizzly bear. Erza is totally kick-butt and practically made of pure awesomeness so Erza would not be afraid of an angered grizzly bear.  
However, Erza is very, very afraid of a certain pissed off Author.  
Author jumps at Erza, and attacks her.  
Erza steels her nerves and requipes into her black wing armor.  
Lucy joins Wendy.  
Like a boss.  
Narrator, who has been watching the whole thing from a distance, decides that this has gone on too long. Narrator breaks up Erza and Author's fight, gathers Lucy and Wendy from the corner, and makes everyone else pay attention (the latter was the hardest task of them all. Cash was particularly interested in this big piece of earwax he had recently pulled out of his ear. He was trying to shape it into an elephant. Narrator had to go to the extremes of taking the ear wax and throwing it away. This nearly reduced Cash to tears, but had the desired effect.)  
"Okay, now that I all have your attention-" Narrator was suddenly cut off from what she was saying when Author decided then was a great time to turn into a sparkly purple warthog that was licking chocolate ice cream and stampede around the room. Author trampled Sasha's couch (much to Sasha's dismay) and then randomly sing a song very similar to the one Gajeel sings occasionally. You know, the Shooby Doo Bop one,  
Narrator: *facepalm*  
Once Author was done blue smoke covered her; when it cleared she was standing in her normal form.  
Narrator sighed and continued. "Thank you, Author, for that lovely distraction and , may I continue.  
Author smiles sweetly up at Narrator, then said in a voice sounding very much like an evil witch from a Disney Princess story, "NO!"  
Narrator, who had known Author for quite a while, realized that this is Author's way of saying, "please continue."  
Except Author never said please. Ever.  
Ah, details, details.  
"What I was trying to say is that, we really need to get back to the original story-"  
Author cut Narrator off again. "NO," she said, except this time like a bratty toddler instead of an evil witch.  
Narrator ignored her. "I'm sure the readers are tired of this randomness with me and Author. I'm going to start narrating like a normal Narrator in a normal story now-"  
Narrator was cut off again by Author.  
Author took a deep breath of air, balled up her hands into fists, tipped her head back, and shrieked, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" half way through it the blue smoke appeared. When it dispersed, Narrator's features had become rounder and cuter. Her hazel eyes appeared bigger, her hair grew so it was quite a few inches past her shoulder, also, she didn't have bangs or layers. She shrunk to be about the height of a five year old. But most surprising of all, was that little brown cat ears had appeared on her head, and a long, thin,brown tail coming out of her knee-length, light pink tutu. When Author continued her screech, her voice was considerably higher. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she finally finished.  
After a moment of intense thought (so intent that she furrowed her little eyebrows and puffed out her cheeks,) Author looked up at everyone, smiled sweetly, and, very innocently, said, "Nya?"  
Everyone leaned forward toward her.  
Except Narrator. Narrator facepalms.  
"Awww," Lucy cooed.  
"Look how small she is!"  
Even Gray was enraptured by her adorableness. "She's so cute!"  
Juvia, who previously also thought she was adorable, now didn't because of Gray's comment.  
Juvia brizzled. _Another love rival_, she thought.  
Narrator glares at Author. "Do you have no self control? Can't you wait until I'm done speaking?"  
Cute little Author grins evilly at Narrator then attacks her face with her little, sharp, knifelike claws.  
Narrator shrieks and throws Author across the room.  
For a brief moment forks and spoons appear in the room and begin dancing elegantly, twirling around the room.  
Author glares at them. "Who said you can come?" She questions. The poor forks and spoons begin to quiver in fright, and it doesn't take long for them to all simultaneously disappear.  
Author huffs and takes a massive bite out of a cupcake; everyone has no idea how it got there, not even Author. Author likes cupcakes though.  
Green ooze starts squirting out of Author's cupcake. Author throws it at Natsu.  
Author happens to be standing right behind Gray.  
The cupcake hits Natsu in the back of the head.  
"Did you just throw this cupcake at me, icebrain?" He asks, his voice deadly.  
Gray furrows his brow. "No, although you totally deserved it."  
"Fairy Tail members don't lie."  
"I didn't throw the cupcake at you!"  
A brawl soon breaks out between the two hotheads. Erza sighs as she walked over to break them up.  
Author could not let that happen though. Oh no. Author likes the way this is going. *css* OH NO, THEY MUST NOT BE STOPPED! OH NO! THEY MUSTN'T! *loud creepy maniacical (i think I've been using that word quite a bit. Is it even a word? Meh, screw it all) laugh*  
Author shrinks herself even smaller. She now can effectively his behind Gray and Natsu. She throws a well aimed cupcake at Erza's face (again, where that cupcake came from is unknown to all.)  
Erza seeths beneath the frosting. "GRAY! NATSU! WHICH ONE OF YOU THREW THAT?!" she roars. Gray and Natsu unfortunately were too involved in their fight to answer.  
Erza requips and joins.  
Author: *another creepy maniacical laugh (hereby known as cml)*  
Narrator: *facepalm*  
Narrator knows exactly where those cupcakes are coming from.  
"Erza's joined to! Now there's no hope for them stopping *sigh*" Lucy complained. Wendy, Carla, and Happy nodded unhappily. Happy bit into a fish depressedidly (yeah. That's right. Depressedidly. I'm known for making up my own words. Deal with it.)  
Sasha couldn't take it and left to go on a walk to try to clear her head of murdericy (murdericy, means: want to murder. Cuz I'm cool like that.)  
Cash was relaxing in a corner, laughing.  
Jellal sighed. Fairy tail! he though with a laugh.  
Author grinned evilly as she launched another cupcake at Jellal's head.  
Jellal looked over at the brawl between Titania, Salamander, and Gray, annoyed. "Hey! Leave me out of it!"  
Author pouted. "Party pooper!" she muttered. She launched another one at him.  
This time Jellal couldn't help himself. He joined.  
Author made a large stocks of colorful cupcakes appear around the room. The four powerful mages started a deadly cupcake war. Frosting was everywhere. And Author now no longer needed to interfere. Missaimed cupcakes splattered against everyone (with the exception of Narrator) until they joined and started throughing their own.  
Author made one more huge stack before smiling at her work and disappearing with a poof.  
Narrator threw up her hands. "Oh, so now you leave!?"  
From Unicorn Land, where Author currently was, she stuck her tounge out at Narrator.

When Sasha came back, she found everyone completely covered, head to two, in cake and frosting, past out on the floor.  
"WTF?"


End file.
